I have the kid I used to judge other people for having
It took a while to figure out, but I’ve finally determined that yes, for sure I have a kid I used to judge other people for having. I used to look at people with their insane toddler hell-bent on...
View ArticleHey new moms: I got a “babymoon” for ya.
You know people keep talking about these damn “babymoons,” and once again I find myself shaking my head. Setting aside my disdain for the term itself (on account of its excessive cuteness), I just...
View ArticleWhen did we decide kids shouldn’t suffer?
You know what I realized recently? My kids aren’t suffering enough. Oh, come on. I don’t mean like that. Not suffering abuse or neglect or whatever. Get your head out of the gutter. I’m talking about...
View Article37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”
Sometimes I complain about motherhood. Shocking, I know. And every time I do, somebody somewhere somehow gives me the same sage advice: Enjoy it before it’s over. Live in the now. Soak it up. EMBRACE...
View ArticleImagine all the people trying not to be dicks
So the other day I was at Costco. For our overseas readers, Costco is grocery store on steroids. Everything in is it huge, bulk, wonderful. I love Costco. It’s very American. I shop there often because...
View ArticleI thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.
Georgia, age 4 (as of August 5), pretty much sees me in two ways: I need to be so close to you I’m literally sitting on your face; and I’m trying to figure out what exactly your purpose is here. We all...
View ArticleTo the humans wondering why I’m always late
The other day a friend of mine and I were having a bit of friendly-text-banter about tardiness. She was like “Just start earlier” and I was like “talk to me when you have 4 kids” and she was like “I...
View ArticleTwelve Easy Steps to Doing Creative Work while Parenting
So I’m doing the National Novel Writing Month thing, only I’m not writing a novel. I’m writing creative non-fiction, what I would call sort of a fusion between Ann Lamott and David Sedaris, only less...
View ArticleA handy guide to pleasing a 4-year-old
When Georgia found out Arlo got to write directions for how to please him, she decided she wanted in on the action. ***** Dear Mom, When I wake up in the morning, I need you to be ready to party. Right...
View ArticleTidy houses are not a thing so stop it
I have decided that anyone with kids who says their house is tidy and clean is lying. Their house is not clean. It’s a fucking disaster like mine. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m not wrong. THEY ARE...
View ArticleI have the kid I used to judge other people for having
It took a while to figure out, but I’ve finally determined that yes, for sure I have a kid I used to judge other people for having. I used to look at people with their insane toddler hell-bent on...
View ArticleHey new moms: I got a “babymoon” for ya.
You know people keep talking about these damn “babymoons,” and once again I find myself shaking my head. Setting aside my disdain for the term itself (on account of its excessive cuteness), I just...
View ArticleWhen did we decide kids shouldn’t suffer?
You know what I realized recently? My kids aren’t suffering enough. Oh, come on. I don’t mean like that. Not suffering abuse or neglect or whatever. Get your head out of the gutter. I’m talking about...
View Article37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”
Sometimes I complain about motherhood. Shocking, I know. And every time I do, somebody somewhere somehow gives me the same sage advice: Enjoy it before it’s over. Live in the now. Soak it up. EMBRACE...
View ArticleImagine all the people trying not to be dicks
So the other day I was at Costco. For our overseas readers, Costco is grocery store on steroids. Everything in is it huge, bulk, wonderful. I love Costco. It’s very American. I shop there often because...
View ArticleI thought age 4 would be better. I was wrong.
Georgia, age 4 (as of August 5), pretty much sees me in two ways: I need to be so close to you I’m literally sitting on your face; and I’m trying to figure out what exactly your purpose is here. We all...
View ArticleTo the humans wondering why I’m always late
The other day a friend of mine and I were having a bit of friendly-text-banter about tardiness. She was like “Just start earlier” and I was like “talk to me when you have 4 kids” and she was like “I...
View ArticleTwelve Easy Steps to Doing Creative Work while Parenting
So I’m doing the National Novel Writing Month thing, only I’m not writing a novel. I’m writing creative non-fiction, what I would call sort of a fusion between Ann Lamott and David Sedaris, only less...
View ArticleA handy guide to pleasing a 4-year-old
When Georgia found out Arlo got to write directions for how to please him, she decided she wanted in on the action. ***** Dear Mom, When I wake up in the morning, I need you to be ready to party. Right...
View ArticleTidy houses are not a thing so stop it
I have decided that anyone with kids who says their house is tidy and clean is lying. Their house is not clean. It’s a fucking disaster like mine. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m not wrong. THEY ARE...
View Article